LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:
has to work hard
has to work at great depths
has to work upside down
has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
has to work in a high humidity environment
has to work at high temperatures
does not get weekends and holidays off
does not get time off after extra hours of work
Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness
Request denied for the following reasons:
does not work 8 hours in a row
does not answer immediately to all requests
after a short activity period, falls asleep at work
shows no fidelity to the workplace
retires too early
does not work at all unless pushed from behind
does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work
Sometimes leaves work, too early
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